Maintaining Balance
Lisa Cook Christine Lithgow Smith, uncategorised
According to my 7-year old, kids are happy when their Mum’s are. We need to feel good and to that, we need balance in our lives
Written by Christine Lithgow Smith
According to my 7-year old, kids are happy when their Mum’s are. We need to feel good and to that, we need balance in our lives
Written by Christine Lithgow Smith
This week, I was writing a blog for my business clients in which I recounted my recent accomplishment of learning to paddle-board, and how this links to leadership, which got me to think about Marlow Mums in two ways:
This week, I was writing a blog for my business clients in which I recounted my recent accomplishment of learning to paddle-board, and how this links to leadership, which got me to think about Marlow Mums in two ways:
- Mums are leaders; perhaps the most influential ones we ever know in our lives.
- Balance.
- Mums are leaders; perhaps the most influential ones we ever know in our lives.
- Balance.
This month I’m starting by picking off the easy one of balance, but over coming months I will see what I know about leadership and what might be useful to share with you. In business, the role of the leader is celebrated and recognised as one of the key drivers of performance. For our children, it is even more important than that. Up until a certain age they literally see themselves as extensions of us, and beyond that they trust our every word, and observe our every action. When you think of it that way, “Walk the talk” is great advice for parents as well as bosses the world over.
Anyway, back to this month and back to you. In my first article I shared the wheel of life with you. I asked you to consider the key areas in your life and how fulfilled you were with them. This month, I’d like to build on this idea of balance a little further.
If you’ve completed your wheel, you’ll have some of what you need for this exercise. For your wheel, I asked you to consider the key areas within your life and review how fulfilled you are. This month we’ll take that one step further.
Grab a cuppa. Then take a piece of paper and draw a 3×3 grid with 9 boxes on it. In each box, choose an activity you do or would like to have in your life. The only rule is one of these should be on vision. This could be anything, including: Family, Friends, Health, Spirituality, Home, Work, Creativity, etc. Next, consider what % of your time you spend on each of those activities in a week.
To help, think about sleep. This may even be in one of your boxes, especially if you have a new-born! If you sleep 8 hours a night on average, we know there are 168 hours in each week, so you would deduct 56 hours for sleeping = 112 hours. That is your 100%. What are you doing with that 112 hours a week? Be honest with yourself here. For example, if you work and you spend time checking emails or surfing social media to stay connected that is work time. Don’t make excuses and say its ‘me’ time – it isn’t. The same goes for Mumsnet or Baboo – that’s parenting time, not you time.
Once you’ve completed that have a think about what type of activity is it? There are two main types I talk to leaders about and I’m sure they will resonate with you:
This month I’m starting by picking off the easy one of balance, but over coming months I will see what I know about leadership and what might be useful to share with you. In business, the role of the leader is celebrated and recognised as one of the key drivers of performance. For our children, it is even more important than that. Up until a certain age they literally see themselves as extensions of us, and beyond that they trust our every word, and observe our every action. When you think of it that way, “Walk the talk” is great advice for parents as well as bosses the world over.
Anyway, back to this month and back to you. In my first article I shared the wheel of life with you. I asked you to consider the key areas in your life and how fulfilled you were with them. This month, I’d like to build on this idea of balance a little further.
If you’ve completed your wheel, you’ll have some of what you need for this exercise. For your wheel, I asked you to consider the key areas within your life and review how fulfilled you are. This month we’ll take that one step further.
Grab a cuppa. Then take a piece of paper and draw a 3×3 grid with 9 boxes on it. In each box, choose an activity you do or would like to have in your life. The only rule is one of these should be on vision. This could be anything, including: Family, Friends, Health, Spirituality, Home, Work, Creativity, etc. Next, consider what % of your time you spend on each of those activities in a week.
To help, think about sleep. This may even be in one of your boxes, especially if you have a new-born! If you sleep 8 hours a night on average, we know there are 168 hours in each week, so you would deduct 56 hours for sleeping = 112 hours. That is your 100%. What are you doing with that 112 hours a week? Be honest with yourself here. For example, if you work and you spend time checking emails or surfing social media to stay connected that is work time. Don’t make excuses and say its ‘me’ time – it isn’t. The same goes for Mumsnet or Baboo – that’s parenting time, not you time.
Once you’ve completed that have a think about what type of activity is it? There are two main types I talk to leaders about and I’m sure they will resonate with you:
Maintenance activities
– Go on (and on). Regular weekly or daily activities that continue to be required.
– Are never finished.
– Are important to maintain standards or ensure the ability of your family to function.- Energy giving activities
– One-off tasks.
– When are complete, are done with.
– Are important to improve the standards or experience of life for you and your family.
Maintenance activities
– Go on (and on). Regular weekly or daily activities that continue to be required.
– Are never finished.
– Are important to maintain standards or ensure the ability of your family to function.- Energy giving activities
– One-off tasks.
– When are complete, are done with.
– Are important to improve the standards or experience of life for you and your family.
For me, and every Mum I talk to, this is where things get tricky. As a working Mum, I have every intention of a wonderful development activity – playing with my daughter. Then a potential client will call and require a call back (an important maintenance activity) and I move responding to them to the top of my list. This shifts playing with Lily down the list and by the time I’ve finished, she’s too tired or my husband is home and I miss it. I miss what’s really most important life.
It’s these development activities that ultimately lead to the best life. A life well lived. In both the medium and the longer term. Yet so often, as Mums, we are driven by the urgency of the moment or the irrational fear of what will happen if we don’t do it.
Once you’ve got your list and you’ve categorised it sit back and reflect on what you see. What part of your life may need to change? What could happen to change it? Which option is most appealing and how could it be done? Are you committed to acting? If so, when? Once you’ve committed to your plan, put the deadline in your calendar or on diary and visualise how it will be once you’ve made the change. What will you see? What will you hear? How will you feel? Enjoy the sensations you experience and use them to pull you towards whatever that change may be.
You can even take it up a level and see how activities are split across the household. Are you taking more than you fair share of the ‘maintenance’ load? Do you truly value what your partner and kids are contributing? How do you know your perspective of reality is true? Could it be worthwhile changing the way you balance your activities together as a family?
Life is changing constantly. Our children are growing and developing all of the time. So are we. In Bucks the average life span is greater than the national average at 81. I don’t know about you, but that means I’m half way this month. If I’m lucky, I have a lifetime ahead but none of us know that for sure. For a live well lived personally, I take inspiration from one of my favourite quotes, although interestingly it seems to have emerged rather than have been said: “You’ve got to dance like nobody’s watching, love like you’ll never be hurt, sing like nobody’s listening, and live like it’s heaven on earth.” If you ever meet my hubby he’ll be glad to vouch that I live by all of these. But I can only do that when my life’s in balance. And when it comes to balance, I try to remember these wise words:
For me, and every Mum I talk to, this is where things get tricky. As a working Mum, I have every intention of a wonderful development activity – playing with my daughter. Then a potential client will call and require a call back (an important maintenance activity) and I move responding to them to the top of my list. This shifts playing with Lily down the list and by the time I’ve finished, she’s too tired or my husband is home and I miss it. I miss what’s really most important life.
It’s these development activities that ultimately lead to the best life. A life well lived. In both the medium and the longer term. Yet so often, as Mums, we are driven by the urgency of the moment or the irrational fear of what will happen if we don’t do it.
Once you’ve got your list and you’ve categorised it sit back and reflect on what you see. What part of your life may need to change? What could happen to change it? Which option is most appealing and how could it be done? Are you committed to acting? If so, when? Once you’ve committed to your plan, put the deadline in your calendar or on diary and visualise how it will be once you’ve made the change. What will you see? What will you hear? How will you feel? Enjoy the sensations you experience and use them to pull you towards whatever that change may be.
You can even take it up a level and see how activities are split across the household. Are you taking more than you fair share of the ‘maintenance’ load? Do you truly value what your partner and kids are contributing? How do you know your perspective of reality is true? Could it be worthwhile changing the way you balance your activities together as a family?
Life is changing constantly. Our children are growing and developing all of the time. So are we. In Bucks the average life span is greater than the national average at 81. I don’t know about you, but that means I’m half way this month. If I’m lucky, I have a lifetime ahead but none of us know that for sure. For a live well lived personally, I take inspiration from one of my favourite quotes, although interestingly it seems to have emerged rather than have been said: “You’ve got to dance like nobody’s watching, love like you’ll never be hurt, sing like nobody’s listening, and live like it’s heaven on earth.” If you ever meet my hubby he’ll be glad to vouch that I live by all of these. But I can only do that when my life’s in balance. And when it comes to balance, I try to remember these wise words:
“the key to keeping your balance, is knowing when you’ve lost it.”
Anon
“the key to keeping your balance, is knowing when you’ve lost it.”
Anon
If you’d like some help in creating positive change in your life you can contact Christine at coach@chrisalyst.com or on 07896 883636. You can also find out more about Christine by reading my interview with her here.