Managing Stress

Stress is defined as any physical or emotional demand that you feel unable to handle. Pressure in life is typical and expected but anything that makes you feel like your unable to cope can lessen your productivity and affect your physical and mental well-being, so it’s important to discover approaches to monitor it but most importantly that you are aware. Being a parent adds yet another dimension to the causes of stress, causing you to feel completely overwhelmed. The pressures we can feel in parenthood are important as they affect how we interact with our children. A balanced mental well-being during parenthood is key to maintaining good relationships with your kids. Negative moods and low tolerances towards your children’s misbehaviour leave a negative atmosphere so in short, you stress, they stress. Hence, if you understand how you are feeling and why, you can deal with it and the effects it can have on you and your growing family.

So after all that, what’s the best way to deal with stress you ask? Well, find out what is making you feel that way and AVOID IT. No I don’t mean avoid your kids, but targeting what other key stresses you have in your life and handling them properly is key to balancing your mood and your behaviour. Here are some common causes in stress and how to deal with
them:

Social and Self Isolation: The emotional toll that parenting can have is tough, so it’s not that parent’s dislike their children or being a parent, it’s just hard. Parents tend to be quite socially isolated anyway because we can be just very wrapped up in our own, but if you have just moved to another area, or lacking in family involvement and support (especially if as a single parent) it can cause you to become more withdrawn prompting you to stay at home. It is important that with this you push yourself to get out and about. Go to a local community playgroup, soft play centre or the park. It gives you the opportunity to spend some quality time with your children and a chance for you to meet other people that you can speak to and meet up with on a regular basis. Social support is incredibly important. Staying in the comforts of your own home leaves little stimulation for both you and your children, they need to get out and so do you. You’ll feel better for it.

Self Neglect: Parenting can lead to us dismissing our own particular needs. Continually putting yourself and your requests at the base of the rundown, leading to frustration, low self esteem and ultimately neglecting your surroundings. It’s so key that you find the time for yourself, whether it’s through a hobby or going out with friends, doing something you enjoy will lift your spirits and bring positivity to you and your household. Eating well and exercise is one of the best stress relievers. Regular exercise can even give you more energy during the day, release stress and happy hormones. It is also important that you don’t overstretch yourself and that you say NO when things get to much. You don’t have to do everything in a day and sometimes things just aren’t feasible. It’s OK to say no, don’t stretch yourself too thin. Make sure you prioritise, ask for help or divert a task to another day.

Money related Difficulties: In difficult times like we face today, loss of job or excessive debt can cause stress especially if you have children to fend for. Even if you are not facing difficult times, parenting stress is strongly impacted by the perception of financial hardship. A core feature of parenting stress is the idea of a balancing act between the parent’s perception of the demands of this role and access to available resources for meeting these demands. If however, if money is tight make sure you are taking steps to reduce the pressure on you. Speak to someone, if its a problem with money management speak to a debt support agency (preferable a free one). Get them to communicate with your creditors for you so you can get onto a plan that will help you manage your money going forward.

Disregard for your children’s feelings: As parents we are both good cop and bad cop. Sometimes reasoning with your children isn’t something you want to do when the answer is either ‘yes’ or ‘no’. If your child decides they don’t like your answer it can cause an elevated situation demanding obedience. Children want what they want, and we’re not saying you should give to them but expecting compliance to your requests can stunt emotional intelligence (especially in teenagers). Rebellion is not easy to deal with but its about listening and adapting your behaviour towards your child as they grow through different life stages. Babies and toddlers are dependent on you so it’s easy (loosely speaking) to make decisions for them and guide them. When growing into an adolescent it’s important to be mutually supportive during this stage and allow them to make their own decisions along with reasonable boundaries.

Since stress in unavoidable it’s important that you find ways to decrease the pressure on yourself. Sometimes it’s as simple as communicating with someone you care about, sharing the burden, take care of yourself and ask for help. In any case, maybe the most ideal approach to stress is to just acknowledge it. We shouldn’t be ashamed of it and the chances are everyone is suffering from their own version of stress. The power in parenting is in positive insight and values so making sure you manage your anxiety will help you to get back to enjoying your family.